Thursday, February 14, 2013

V Day 2013

February 14, 2013 Happy V Day!

How am I feeling today. Well I am down to 165 which is good. Jay is down to 288 and has lost another 1 1/2 inch off his waist. Watching him feel better and work hard helps to motivate me and makes me work even harder. We will beat this together!!!

I am thankful for my family and friends today and glad to have a home and a job. I need to remind myself that no one is judging me but me and I am harsher then anyone else. I need to let up on myself and those I love a little and enjoy every day that I have.

I made it through my entire work out at the gym today just by reminding myself that I can do it. I got my homework down on time (not always easy for me) and paid the bills. When I met with the counselor yesterday she gave me some tips to help me stop worrying so much. One was to set a time for worrying and not let it be in my head all the time. So last night when I laid down and my head wouldn't stop I just kept telling myself that it was not the time and I would worry about those things tomorrow. It must have worked because I slept pretty good and today the worries don't seem so bad.

One day at a time. One pound at a time. One worry at a time. That is all we can do.


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

New Year, New Challenges

February 13, 2013

It has now been 2 years and 3 months since my weight loss surgery. As of today my weight is 167. I never made it to my goal and have slowly started gaining weight. I also started training to jog my first 5k about 5 weeks ago. I thought if I followed the training plan I would be able to do it no problem, but again my body has reminded me that it takes hard work and pushing no matter how much you weigh. I have been very stressed out and frustrated lately and that has shown in my eating habits and weight gain. I decided it is time to change my mental health now that my physical is somewhat under control.

I have never been good and taking care of myself or my feelings and always put my effort into taking care of everyone else. When I lost my father in 2007 and then my mother in 2009 I never fully dealt with it. I then lost my job that was the focus of my life in 2011 and never dealt with that either. Time to change!!!!!!

Yesterday I started counseling for about the millionth time in my life. The difference is this time I plan to keep going until I actually deal with some of my crap. I have also started taking an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant to help with my anxiety and hopefully eating. The counselor suggested I start journaling my feelings because I tend to not talk about them but my first thought was to go back to this blog that helped me so much through my weight loss and again share my journey with others. Knowing that other people are listening and may find one little piece of information that will help them motivates me to do better.

So from this day forward this blog will follow my getting to my goal weight, training for my 5k in April, and getting my mind in line with my body. I plan on sharing my feelings as honestly as I can and finding my mo0tivation again. Thanks for listening.